About Frank

Frank O. Pinion was born in Humboldt, Tennessee. As the oldest of 14 children, there were many nights when Frank went to bed hungry.

With no electricity or running water, Frank had to study by the light of a couple of candles and a kerosene lamp. The outhouse the family used was about 300 yards from their shack of a home. A Sears catalogue was the only toilet paper the family had throughout his childhood. Frank recalls thinking to himself at about the age of 10, “Someday I won’t have to live like this. I’m going to have a house with an indoor bathroom and real toilet paper. Someday I will be somebody.”

At around the age of 12 Frank heard his first radio program. A neighbor down the road had thrown out an old radio that had fallen from a table and was broken into several pieces. Frank spend tireless hours studying the inner workings of the radio, and with patience and some old wire and tape managed to bring it to life.

At first Frank was afraid of the talking box. Whose voice was he hearing? What’s that music, and how can a band be inside this thing?
The more he listened, the more he knew that this was what he wanted to do.

By the age of 16, Frank had made a promise to himself; that someday he would be a successful broadcaster, listened to by thousands every day.

That dream never came true, and probably never will.

Now, after many years, Frank has accepted his lot in life…to be a mediocre broadcaster who will never see great fame or success.

Along the way to this mediocrity, Frank met a beautiful girl while working at a furniture store in Belleville, IL. He was 20 and Gilda was 54. After just two dates he asked her to marry him. She said yes. She was an unattractive woman and a huge wart on her nose and one eye missing due to an old injury she sustained when she was a wrestler, but Frank was convinced that she was the best he could do. You see Frank had a tremendous inferiority complex because of the fact that he was bald and had been bald since the age of 12. But to Gilda, Frank was like Prince Charming. As they were sitting in Frank’s 1969 Datsun 510 sedan where he had just popped the question, Gilda became so excited that she had a massive heart attack and died.

Frank went into a deep depression for many many hours. But, by the next morning he was fine, and looking for a new girlfriend.

He eventually did find someone who was willing to accept his baldness. Her name was…and still is…Tyann. Blind since birth, Tyann has never seen what Frank looks like. He’s afraid that if someday a procedure comes along that will restore her sight she will leave him, so he discourages her from seeking out any new ophthalmalogical technology or procedures.

Tyann has given birth to Frank’s 3 children, two black sons and an Asian daughter. He tells friends they are adopted to try and hide the truth about his wife’s infidelity.

Frank currently resides in a home in Wildwood. The former tenants were removed for defaulting on their loan. Frank and his family hope that authorities won’t find out about them living there until the harsh winter months are over.

You can catch Frank on KFNS 590 The Fan, Mon. – Thurs. from 3 to 6 pm. He has dedicated every Friday for the rest of his life to counseling young baldheaded 12 year old boys.